How profound of a statement is this??? Which one am I when I read this on my Google search this morning to find a "image" on "Letting GO!"
Is it the Letting Go......OR the holding on that hurts? WOW I said to self this morning.....I was feeling that the hurt was letting go....this morning......as I dropped only ONE child off to school For 18 years.....I have battled the "morning" drill........and have realized as I close out the first week of school.....that I have to let go. If you have an older child...and a younger child......the older one....is your "trial run"! You will do better the second time around....I promise....and that is life.......but as discussed before...there is no Reset button......and NO RESTORE points.....so you just try to learn from past mistakes....and make the next day better....as you have learned from the day before.
Am I the rock...being smoothed.....as God is trying to teach me things in this journey of life......or am I the water??? I already know that answer.......Maybe someday...I will be the water.......and by that...I think that is the strength that comes from being "buffeted".......but I certainly know I am the "rock".....being smoothed and tested. Anyone out there being tested lately! Goodness Gracious! Not sure what God is trying to teach me....as this daily grind is certain DAILY! Just when I think I have a "plan"......or know the direction I WANT to head into.....it changes on a dime! Like, example......I had planned a trip.......this weekend....and last Friday I...knew that path.....planned...and was in anticipation of heading out today....BUT as life has it........the plan has changed and I had to reschedule...and maybe for the best........for now! Timing is everything isn't it?
Maybe Holding on is the pain in the heart and not the letting go.....but either way...it is a tough call. Coach K posted on my last blog......that granpa....who like me....the dreamer......the dreamer of life being what we expect it to be and not what it really is sometimes. Most of the folks in my cirle of friends....oldest kids....are Gina's age......but for those of us....who have OLDER kids.....the holding on / letting go.......is hard! If you have gotten there....good for you.....but for me today.......was just a reminder that life is short......and how fast 18 1/2 years can truely fly by! Holding on....AND letting go....is the PAIN of CHANGE and no one likes change....it goes against human nature! We get comfty in our little lives......no matter how good / bad it is.....the pain of change....always has to be greater then the place we are in....or change will never happen!
Maybe you are the water......maybe you are the "rock"....that is being shaped into what God really wants you to be. As I deal today with my feelings of letting go......or holding on......and you deal with yours.....I pray....that you will remember like me......the one common thread we all have......is we all make CHOICES!! IF you are strong in one area in your life....then you are the water.....in this situation......I am the rock......as I have not let go....and I know I still hold on! Maybe with our kids....we will always hold on to a certain extent...can you ever really let go??? I think not....if you are a good parent. I know my daddy.....still holds on....and as a kid.....it feels good....to know I still have that "bond". So, maybe that is my answer.....Maybe I don't really have to totally let go......of her.......the holding on......is OK!
To allow her to be her own person......will also allow me to be my own person.....but deep inside.....I will always be here for her! As for letting go or holding on to other things in my life....well......One thing at a time I guess! So bloggers.....or "readers".......if you are faced with the "letting go/holding on challenge" today......I hope.......that you remember....the pain of change must always be greater.....then where you are! So for now.....I will neither let go......and will still hold on......to that little tiny hand of Natalie......as I know she does still need me! Isn't that really what we all need......is to just be needed??
Have the best day ever.....and UNTIL next blog.........!
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