How easy would it be to Just Say NO!

I was chatting to a friend yesterday and she said why can't I just say no!??? We all know my pattern and it got me "pondering" that my life feels so overwhelmed and mostly is my own doing! I too, and a victum of I just can't say NO!

I know I have to be the only one...just me and my friend guilty as charged.........to take on more then the average bear because I can't say the easy to say two letter word NO!

Where in my confidence center of my brain do I have to reprogram this should be easy adjustment of saying NO instead of always smiling and saying SURE you can, sure I can.......sure that's ok.......sure we can.......sure it's ok......of course I have time for that....No I didn't have any plans.......Of course I will not be overwhelmed?? Anyone out there feeling me????

I guess it takes all kinds of people to make the world go around.....there are the ones out there that don't care to make things happen....then there are the ones who are the movers and the shakers of the world.....and I guess those people do make things happen....and mostly they are the ones that can't say no!

Reading a new book....and learning that emotional boundaries are very important in this journey we call life.....and sometimes, saying NO is as healthy as always saying YES!

It is easier said then done.........I am an over committer? Is that even a word? Is that even possible.........over acheiver maybe a better thing to say about myself. Sometimes, it gets me in trouble though and those are the times I am trying to learn that I have to put up better boundaries in my emotional part of my life......NO! Repeat after me..................NO! HHHHAAA sounds funny as it is not a word I use much unless with my teenage daughters and doggies! HHHHAAA I can say it to them........very firmly and quickly but in my personal life....it does comes a little hard for me. I think that sometimes, I would not feel as disappointed in myself if I would learn to let it roll off my tongue easier with other people as I do with my dogs.....they would probably say, "Mom doesn't have a hard time saying that at all....she tells it to me all the time!"

So maybe today needs to be a day for me.......that I realize it more today then ever......and just incase you wondering....NO I am not overwhelmed!!!! HHHAAAA that I need to stand up a little more for myself...and practice saying NO when it is just easier to just say YES or OK.........or let other just assume that YEs is always gonna be the answer...maybe the shock of NO sometimes will keep me in check.

I wrote on my tile last night......tomorrow will be a new day....with a new attitude.....so let the day begin! New day......is here....and new attitude will start now! So I will put into practice today.....when things come my way....my new philosophy of saying NO when really, it would be easier to just say YES or give in!

So bloggers/readers....if you too struggle with this, it will have to be a conscience effort on your part....cuz it like anything else, sometimes, easier to blog then to do! So until next time.....I hope that you too can accomplish this....and like anything else, we have to do it one day at a time! Happy Blogging Everyone! UNTIL!

New Day, New Hope

Woke up today.....and the rain is falling seems like all around me......Inside and out! It has been a roller coaster week....and I guess, the dawn of tomorrow is that a new day, will certainly bring NEW HOPE!

There comes a place in every situation where you have to truely accept where you are and where others are and also accept that some things might never change.

You can only change yourself. We have talked about this in previous blogs and Coach K has rang this true, but today, I really think that I got it. It is not easy to accept when you want a situation to change to how you want it, but that is not what the other person in the situation wants. You must both be on the same page.

What happens, when you are not both on the same page? Then you have to accept it as that, and you both have to agree to disagree. If you can do that, then, just maybe you can begin to heal and go on.

Tomorrow was a deadline, that for me, I put in my boundary list. So, accepting after one month, 30 days to create a new habit, 30 days to break a habit, tomorrow being day 31, I will accept the things that I can not change, I will say the serenity prayer, and I will look for new hope for a new day.

I beleive that this past 30 days, that I am the one who has changed. I have found some strength that I know God has been preparing me for. The strength from the trials and testings but all in all, I know, that I am the one who has changed, for the good. I am learning that I too, deserve all that God has for me. I deserve the best in life and I will only obtain those things if I hold out, reach for them and don't settle for anything less then what I want.

Maybe it is, sometimes, that we are the ones that change and when everyone else stays on the page that you left, then really, you are the one to blame for moving away? I have blamed that it was not me that changed but am facing the reality, that it is. I can not accept things the way they have always been, therefore, I am the one who realized that those ways were not how I saw my life in the long term. Why did it seem to work and why did I seem to settle for such a long time, but now, all the sudden it doesn't work for me? What happened to me that I changed and wanted something different then what has been there all along? Not sure why, but the fact remains that I too, am an individual, I have feelings, passions, goals, emotional drives too that seem to be leading me a different direction now. They have always been there I guess, I guess I thought that I was OK without them being a big part of my life, but have accepted that to have those things, means, I have to be the one to change. I think I am ok with that today!

One of the first moves of acceptance is to not blame anyone, but to accept the fact that you might be the one who has just changed into a different direction. It is not always a bad thing, it is what you make it. Accept how you are, respect how others are. If you are no longer on the same page, maybe that is ok, maybe you both will be better, accepting that you can be happy, knowing the other page doesn't work for you, your page doesn't work for them, but individually, it will work itself out. Life always does. It stops for no one! Time is an amazing thing. It never really heals the hurt, it just softens the hurt. So as time goes on, it will be easier to view and I will look back, like most everything else in my life, and know, that the choices I have made are honored by God and I know, that this is the best place for me on my journey.

So bloggers and readers alike, if you too, are making life changing choices, or if others are making those choices for you, then accept it this week. Challenges will certainly come.....but rely on Him, He will see you through........because, tomorrow is a new day.......and it will bring....closure....and NEW HOPE! Bring it on Day 1.......beginning of hopefully, something new. UNTIL!

What we could do if we had!!??????

The last few blogs of mine have been about challenges, storms, valleys........it made me wonder today if I do have any great things that happen to me!??? Well, today, I landed a new adventure.......a new p/t job that will allow me to pour some of my skills into a different place and possibly boost a little "CONFIDENCE" from within! It really has always been there....but I think that the every day buffeting of my life....has weighed me down....and left me feeling the lack of.........lack of alot.....but mostly the hold you head up high........without the mask.....confidence....that I can.......do anything. What we could truely accomplish if we didn't have anything to stand in our way!

A wonderful dear friend for many years......messaged me today and encouraged me that the "path of trial and challenge" may feel long.....but her encouraging words was that there is always an end....and it will be a good end no matter what.....not evil! This woman is a woman of God......and someone that I honor and have looked up to since I was a little girl! Her words of great wisdom rang in my ears tonight as I sang to the radio, painting and cleaning floors......I would have rathered been out for the evening.....but stuff must get done.....so another lonely night home alone......but as I was singing.....and I caught myself......I pondered on my new week ahead.....really one must start at the next day ahead....but I know that this little job will be just what the dr. ordered!

I am looking for the confidence of the LION even with an otter's personality....I know....that deep down it is always there....and it will be there when I need to grab ahold of it....and today was the day. As I put into practice some old skills that I have not had to use for a while......it all came right back to me! It felt so good for someone else to actually have confidence in me......and they really don't even know me! It made my day!

So today, was the day......that I said in my blog yesterday and maybe that is what God needed to hear from me.......the allowing him.....to be incontrol even when I feel buffeted.....I accepted the fact that HE is not done with me....molding me as a person, a new person and building new wonderful character in me........and when you give into it....with that faith.....then.........Maybe that it when he chooses to calm the storm after all!

Maybe that is what HE is trying to teach me through all of this! It is soooooo hard for me not to be in the FIX IT mode! BUT I am learning Coach K! It will get through my thick head sooner or later...I hope sooner so the waves will stop beating me up! LOL

Well Readers/bloggers......this was a short blog, but a happy blog. A confidence booster was found by me today....and maybe just what I needed to finish the race......I have gotten tired at this end of the path...but never a time to give up.....just keep pressing through. So if you too are being buffeted.......and challenges are hitting you every day.....take encouragment like I did today, in an email from a friend, a blog, a job, your little kid picking a flowey for you, the simple things of life....just might have the hidden answers of life.......the reason for the challenges and trials....is always to make you strong and smart! I take back.....I never want to be the dumb one! I am happy to be the STRONG one! UNTIL next time! Happy Blogging Everyone~have a great weekend.

Challenges Make us Smarter.......?????

I was texting a friend the other day....and she said to me....that her day was extremely challenging. I responded by saying.....philisophical like....."how challenges make us smarter and stronger....and her texted reply was.......Well, I think I am ready to just be dumb for a while! It made me laugh yet at the same time.....it made me ponder...how true it was...that challenges and adversity does make us smarter and wiser.......and in many cases stronger but it just seems like maybe can we choose not to be smart today if that means the challenges have to come our way?

I have been in a very challenging place in my life for over a year now....and I keep waiting for the SMARTNESS to set in.........and the STRONG but the challenges keep coming...like the storm I guess.........I opted today when my day began to be the DUMMY for the day.....but I beleive that since it is the end of the day, I have truely survived another day, not to mention did anyone see the size of the full moon??? And that maybe tomorrow just might be another challenging day...and maybe God is really wanting me to be the smartest and strongest girl out there for a reason!



Which brings me to FAITH! Certain of what we do not see! WOW! I guess that is my answer....just because I have daily challenges that I do not understand, it is the FAITH of what I hope for..........and the confidence of knowing that God has me here for a purpose even if I don't see it. I think choosing to be a dummy for the day is the best answer, but am too learning that my answers, though they seem simple and easy......and might I add Lord, CHALLENGE FREE, are not always His answers! I know He has a plan.......I know HIS goal for me.....and my goals are not the same.

As my life has changed just this past week.......and the adjustment to a new SUMMER schedule with Super G and the loss of my NatScat........as in my previous post.....this too shall pass.....and the sun will shine again tomorrow. I will embrace tomorrows dawn once again.....and accept that life surely may bring me just a few more challenges to handle......as I am ready for it........as every day before. I am expectant that I am not able to see past the bend in the road......and the struggle of the rocks and boulders on my path....however, they will NOT get the best of me!

Just like everything, Life is a CHOICE! SO BRING THEM ON those darn challenges....and I will tackle one at a time tomorrow. I will not complain anymore that LIFE is challenging cuz, I guess it is better then a boring life! I would probably complain about everything just going my way all the time right!!!!!????? NOT!!!!!!!!

So Bloggers / Readers, if you are in a place of challenges today or tomorrow.....today is almost history......and you can't change anything about history......it stays the same once the day has ended....BUT You can change how you handle the challenges of life that will come your way tomorrow. As they tackle you tomorrow remember, FAITH that God too has his plan.......just because you DO NOT SEE it....doesn't mean he doesn't have an awesome one for you too! SOOOOOO UNTIL next time everyone........Happy Blogging Everyone!

You can't love anyone else...Til you love yourself she said!

Today was a very busy, stressful, eventful day. As I whirled around the house getting things done for a particular deadline......I was talking to a special person in my life......and she said, "you will never truely love anyone else properly, until you truely can love youself!". I thought I really did love myself already. I come across to many as put together, one who has confidence, one who really doesn't care what others think about me........one who has it together.....one who.....but really do I??? Well, I guess since this is pubic blog spot! Of course I do!!!!! LOL To most people, but can you be and feel different towards different people??? Yes you can. Can you still wear a mask around some people and others you don't feel like you have to put it on??? Those people who do not value your opinion, who will blow you right out of the water with just a few words, someone you have to walk on "eggshells"??? Not everyone in our lives we have to have the same guards up with.....but every once in a while, you may find that you have those few or one person....that you have to act differently......you may always have to be the kitten....when you truely feel like the lion. Metephorically speaking Coach K...as I am an OTTER so don't forget!

Sometimes the "otter personality" forgets that we have to walk differently when that special person walks in.....as we are the true otter with everyone else, why not them, why can't they too accept you for who you are??? Why can't they appreciate your true personality, whether you are the otter, kitten or lion????? Why must the mask still be an issue with me??? Have I not truely learned to love myself??? Maybe not. This person has not always been wise, but her wisdom has come, like everyone else, from the storms and trials in life. She is wise beyond her years. She has been forced to catch up in growing up in the last 6 months......and has more then I ever thought possible.

As I watched her get ready for a new embarking of life today, I smiled as she drove down the road, as I knew, that all she has learned she will begin tomorrow to put into practice. She will grow each day.....and teach others on her journey. This time as she moves away, it was different then the last time. She goes with a sense of embracement of the real world which she really knows nothing about! She goes with a sense of adventure that I have not seen for a long time. And as I sat in her empty room tonight with just carpet and four empty walls where for 19 years, pictures hung, laughter rang, UNO looser smiled at defeat.....parchesie player...and the keeper oreos and chocolate.......I feel.....happy and sad at the same time.....as this wise person......is now leaving me....but teaching me about myself at the same time.

The emptiness seemed a bit bittersweet tonight then what I thought it would be! No one home tonight but just me....probably a good thing as I don't have to wear the mask.....and can feel any feeling I want....and don't have to explain to anyone and the dogs will never tattle on me! I can cry......feel anger......feel sad........smile when I get a grip.......snicker at the remembering of her face....and know in my heart.....that the big picture of life....is hers for now.......where ever it takes her whether perminant or temporary....she will truely be learning from this experience.

So I will learn from her comment today.....and take it to heart and start today.....to love me....whether or not I am a blubering mess...with tears running down my face......or the confident one that everyone sees....or anyone in between.......but no matter who I feel I am at every moment of the day....I will try today......to be the person I hope I can be always....the one .....who it is ok....to wear my love....on their sleeve! Cuz you know what.........I beleive the rest of the world.....who pretends.......are not really happy people anyways!

So bloggers/readers....I hope that when you wake up in the morning...you too will realize, you are special, you have something so special to give.......maybe not to everyone...and maybe not everyone will accept it....but to most.........your giving and loving personality.....and wearing your love out there ON YOUR SLEEVE.......and it will get you hurt.....most every time......but it is better then the one who runs........denies they feel love.......and who really feels that showing love is weak! They are the ones........who are weak!

I hope that Monday falls on every reader the BEST MONDAY ever....and if you don't love yourself to the fullest....begin today! No matter what anyone has told you to make themselves feel better.......you truely are worthy, worth it.....deserve it.......if you desire it......you can obtain it! Happy Blogging everyone! UNTIL next time!

I guess the Storm Rages ON!

I needed some laundry detergent today......so I stopped at the local Dollar General.......as I was on a mission to the back of the store.......there were pictures in frames on a shelf to my left.........I stopped....and saw this! It stopped me in my tracks....for a moment I forgot about all the laundry I had to do today...........I realized that this picture......had an amazing message...and I needed to stop and take note..and click a picture.....and maybe God was talking to me.

Sometimes God calms the storm......that is what my prayer has been....the storm seems to be raging all around me....and I have wondered these past few months.....if God is listening to any prayer of mine! Like being in the valley, I pray that God will calm the raging seas in my little boat.........but the waves just keep getting higher and higher....like when you go out....and you think they are just "moderate chop" 2-3 seas....and then the wind changes after the high tide comes in...and all the sudden you see white caps....the seas are no longer 2-3.....they seem like 6 feet.....and crashing over your small vessel.

Sometimes He lets the storm rage....and calms the child???? Is that what His plan is......He is trying to allow me to be tossed......in the seas.....but teaching me how to be calm in a raging storm???? What an amazing concept???? I thought it was like when His deciples were out in the storm....and He spoke to the winds...and calmed the storm! I didn't ever think that He would just....let it rage....but try to teach the "child" to just be calm!

As I pondered this thought all day today....I knew that this would be the blog for the evening! Not only does this mean that I have to really trust that He knows the best plan for me.....but it means that I have to allow him to teach me to be calm. That is not a "true Walters trait"! Do you think God knows that???? Patience and being calm in one sentence is not an easy task for me. During the rough seas......I usually am holding on to the strap for dear life...wondering if I am gonna be tossed into the raging water......tip over........drown.....many things are going through my mind....but through all those negative thoughts......I am eager to try to fix it all...and just get to the dock and be safe. Never once......did I even consider that God was keeping me in the storm to teach me something! HHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM REALLY LORD????? Really????? I could see Him doing this.....Really I can........!

So my train of thought is going to have to change......I am no longer asking him to calm the seas...........Bring it on! Let it RAGE.....! White caps and all! It seems like every day brings something new.......I have to deal with........I wait for the break in the winds......but if you have ever been on the ocean....when the winds are high...and the waves are high......you will never find a spot where it is dead calm.........it just keeps coming! Waves and all! So, I will try to learn the lesson He is trying to teach......be quiet and listen.......and maybe when I learn it....the storm will calm! LOL

So my fellow bloggers....and readers.......Where ever you are.......if you are in the storm with the raging seas all around you...........and praying that God will calm them.......just maybe He is trying to teach you too, a different lesson! Like me......He is trying to teach us to be calm in the raging storm! So, if we learn this lesson the first go around......will we not have to be tossed in the storm next time??? Not sure, but just maybe His plan is better then mine! So I will consider....just to learn and listen! I say consider with respect of course....because I am not the only one out there...that even though God might have a plan....we still try to fix it ourselves....so maybe, that is why the storm rages on! LOL! Happy Blogging everyone! UNTIL!

Tile today said: NO EGG SHELLS TODAY!

Do you ever feel like your life....is like......walking on Egg "shells"? I love shells just not this kind! You wake up...and the sun is shining....and you spend the whole day.....waiting for the shoe to drop out of the sky??? Tip Toe around just incase...there might be an egg you didn't see....that you just might step on and crack!?????? Just me????? Hope so.......Hope no one else.....lives this way but me....but highly doubtful!

Well I woke up today....and Live Streamed Pastor.....and felt the crunch of the day......as a 12:15 drop off party for Gina........but he began to speak at 11.35.......and as I began to gather my things to leave....he said....IN CLOSING........Not like the other preachers who say....in closing...then in 15 minutes....still preaching and say "In closing" again! I remembered many services in the day like that....anyhoo...........off the park we went for a gathering of a bunch of happy eighth graders celebrating the upcoming title of "freshman" class....in the fall! As they were all gathered at the picnic tables I thought....am gonna head home.....and have "ME TIME" from 1-4....Man did my day go sour! From there.....it just slid right down hill!

There were things to do......grass to mow.....dinner to make....groceries and coffee to buy..........taxi service to be......and mom to be. Really just wanted a simple day....with NO DRAMA but the day.....seemed to end....with ONLY DRAMA! How is that.....Why is that????? Is that just the Hard stuff of life???? Is everyones life that way.......you think you can just float on a floatie........and disappear in the brighness of the sun..........and BAM!

I have learned these past few months...that in the light of the sun.......and when DRAMA presents itself..........we need to take it more in stride.......I have not arrived and still am......trying to "find my sea legs" so to speak....but trying to be a better mom.....everyday! But today......I do not think was my best attempt at it....the stresses of everything on my plate...and the demands that presented itself....just got the best of me.....by 7.25 I felt like everyone wanted everything from me and there was nothing left to give!

I went into her room....after the whole world fell apart...and Gina said to me....Mom....Everyone's life is hard!? Is it really??? Does it have to be......Hard???

I pondered on it.....after she went to bed...and decided....I am tired of life being like someone just walking on egg shells all the time....and life......doesn't have to be hard all the time! There has to be a place where life is easy! I know people that life comes easy for. They have not alot of worrys! They have more then enough and do not stuggle.....they wanna go...they do......they wanna spend.....they spend.......so....life is not hard for EVERYONE?!!!!! But maybe.....we all have our hard spots to endure!

So.......even though my day when it began....did not turn out like I wanted it to.......I did not walk on egg shells I crushed on everyone I stepped on today! I guess the only redemption I have.....is that tomorrow is a new day!

My original tile quote....was that I was not going to walk and tip toe on any egg shells or wait for any shoe to fall......but.....it rained shoes today.......in a different manner in which I wrote my tile.....but non the less......it did not go as I planned....but as the night falls......and the time ticks away....I know...that the sun will rise...and give me a new day to try again!

So bloggers and readers....just the same.....I hope that a new day is going to dawn on you too....and you will find...that even if you walked on egg shells.....or many shoes fell and hit you in the head yesterday........that tomorrow will be new, refrshing......and make it work....make it better....make it new! I will no longer walk on egg shells or crush them.....I will just walk on the path that God has before me.....and if I come upon an eggshell.....next time....will ignore it....and pretend it is a rock....I can trample! LOL Night and happy blogging everyone! It is all about LIFE! LIFE HAPPENS to all of us! UNTIL!