The Strength the Comes from Being Alone

I started my day feeling a little more less vulnerable then my last posting! I found strenth somewhere in the rising of the sun.....maybe the weekend coming up and it's reflection......where my life is TODAY........TODaY only! I am learning that I can only live one day at a time....sometimes....one moment at a time.

The Wife of a Progress Energy worker has been challenging. The lineman are an elete group of men who do their job with much insanity and intensity. Working with the amount of voltage that keeps our homes with power, unsafe conditions of the elements in general, not to mention the ON CALL 24/7, leaves the one behind to take care of the things that have to be done....regardless of overtime or not. The movie taxie, diaper changing, volleyball games, dinner, school pick up, doctor appointments, the Karate class promptly at 7pm! No matter what else is on the plate of the "WIFE" left behind, it still must get done.....and for most of the great wifes of this industry.....we survive! We keep it together when they are on Storm putting back together communities ravaged by distruction, outages in the middle of the night, rest time and sleeping and trying your best to keep you dogs from barking in the middle of the day!

Spending this much alone time can be a bad thing in some cases.....or if you allow it.....can make you strong and tall like the tree. When I was first married with little children....I didn't adjust to it well......but after all these years...the noises outside don't bother me as much.(in the city that is, glad I don't out in the boonies where the frogs are) (I leave all the outside lights on BRIGHTLY ALL NIGHT, but that is beside the point!) I did that growing up too! "Looks like broadway" my mom would say....as she would approach the house and every light including three huge flood lights that shined from here to Tallahassee was on! I am not fond of being alone or the dark....but in this line of work, like any other on-call profession I guess you allow it to do what it is supposed to do. These past years has forced me to be the answer in the middle of the night to a scared kid.....even if there is no one else here but me. Most people who know me....know that I hate being alone anyways.....but that is the life that has been handed me....and today I see how strong and far I have come and prepared more and more everyday.




As I pondered today on the stresses of the ONE LEFT to hold life together.......it made me ponder on our MILITARY folks! They are LEFT behind sometimes from their partner for months at a time. Sometimes with NO or LITTLE contact. They go on with their lives...and do the day in and day out things also holding LIFE together and keeping LIFE for the family as normal as possible. Whether or not you have children......the one behind still must keep life going....it can not stop just because one of you are not there! Funny how that is........the world does keep turning and the sun will rise again....whether or not you are ready for it. So, as Memorial Day Weekend approaches, I found it appropriate to thank all the folks, from My Dad and Harold US ARMY, My Granpa WWII, My Pap WWII, and the many, many folks who keep our Nation FREE! The Freeist Nation in the WORLD! It comes with much sacrifice...just like the lineman....he can not make that overtime money...if there is no one left behind to hold down the home........and the Soldier can not keep us free without the sacrifices of the one left to hold down the fort.....but the ULTIMATE sacrifice of the soldier who doesn't return....to is the ULTIMATE stand of my freedom and yours.

So as this weekend comes......if you see a soldier, Shake his or her hand...and say thank you for their sacrifices....what ever they are. If you know of a fallen hero.......pray for their family as they remember them and greive. We all know someone who has served or who has been inpacted somehow by a military person....son or daughter.....mom or dad.....uncle or aunt.....But without them.......What a scary place this USA would be! If you are a reader or blogger and your a soldier. Thank you......and for my MOM friends...with SONS who have recently enlisted....I say thank you too and be strong like the tree that stands...... That has to be too.....a hard sacrifice to send your boy off.......!

Don't forget Bloggers/Readers.......this weekend is for family, fun and all the other stuff that goes along with it.....but don't forget........to say THANKS to our HERO'S! Happy Blogging Everyone! I pray everyone has the best weekend and Memorial day ever!

Heart on your sleeve

It is hard when you truely wear your heart out there......where everyone can see it! ON YOUR SLEEVE.......On your shoulder.......on your FOREHEAD! When someone like your buddy or best friend can look at you at a moment....when you feel like you got it all together....and say...just one word and see right through you! Thought alot about that tonight and thought......I wish......................................then again......I am proud to be who I am......Just me! Took me a struggle, pain, heartache, hurts to get here....but finally.....It is ok......that I do....where it on my sleeve!

I find it amazing how you can give so much in life....and think that everyone thinks that same way........and saddens my heart to find out that not everyone doesn't see it that way! I am a giver.....I would too, do most anything for anyone......but.....what makes it different...that.....life just doesn't work that way.....you give, you give, you give.....and just seems like sometimes it just is not enough!?????

I usualy don't wear it so out there......I guess vulneralbility is out th window tonight.......it is what it is.....my new mottow....."its all good" even when its not!

I sat out on the back porch.....by the pool.....and asked granapa....Mother.Nana...Granma....where do I go from here.....and did not hear a clear answer......but kmow....that......no matter where life takes me....it is ok.......I wil embrace it.....and hope that i have learned in age....and love my age....more now then ever......that its all ok......bring it on!

I know I have changed.....and that is ok......cuz, like my last blog.......I am jus waiting......it has been a week.....aint that long enough???? LOL

Well Bloggers/readers....that is all I have......maybe only me is going through this.....but I will press on....and I WILL survive!

Nite Everyone.......UNTIL

Its was called...."adrenaline Junkie"?

This morning as I approached the BACK ROW of Faith Outreach Center.....empty waiting just for me.......the worship was starting to come to a close and it was time for Pastor to take the pulpit....and bring forth a message that God has put on his heart........He started by saying that himself, ME and my offspring, Natalie were not blessed with the virtue of "patience" or liking to WAIT for stuff!

As I "AMENED" him and started to look into my heart....I knew he was right.......so impatient and keep my self busy....as to not find a time for Lule time. I am not sure that he was really talking to anyone else in the congregation besides me......and he used loosly the term....."Adrenalin Junkie"! As I wrote this in the back of my bible...where where is bearly any room for notes in my 1962 bible, pages are missing, papers are frail....but my special bible just the same........I found a extra place for notes. I underlined this......"Adrendaline Junkie" and pondered....and as I texted....yes......from the back row....my friend to livestream the service as Pastor was soooooo passionate on his delivery........I wanted her to hear what I was hearing! See you can get away with this...and not frowned upon on the back row! ADVANTAGES! LOL

As he proceeded to explain.......that alot of people dont know how to live withou the acitivity, solving of problems.....fixing things....even if they are things that are other peoples problems.......a car to fix, a project to consume you.....a son or a daughter that you just pour every ounce of your life into......just to have the high rush of always having that need of being needed! I think...that really is what an addrenaline junkie is........the needed of being needed....even if your not really thinking that way....some how....it fills a need of you have helped....you did a good thing for someone.....that made them smile....you MADE it HAPPEN....and made life easier for someone.....so....therefore......you feel needed! Important......viable.........BUT......in my thoughts of goodness of being needed...and feeling that the RUSH was a good thing....IT WAS HAULTED!......like the screeching of tires on the pavement....when the light turns from greed to red....bypassing the yellow! Well...the yellow that I sometimes in the green machine fail to see!

He said........There is a time of REST? A time of WAITING???? That the DREADED TIME of quiet and stillness = Gods equation to WAIT!.......Hold up Pastor are you kidding me??????? I already knew that impatience was not my virtue...now you are asking me to practice the wait? THEN HE SAID THIS! Living between the times of doing stuff which equals WAITING AGAIN!....LOL......is to gain strength.....healing.....restoration.....growing.....and preparation! What a concept! OK....I said to self......Maybe I can do this.....I can wait til tomorrow....and hope that I gain all this?????? But that is not what God meant......They that WAIT.....WAIT.......WAIT....OK enough already.....on the Lord...Shall be re-newed! I need to be re-newed! More then you know! So......the moral of this sermon......is simply this.......

Big problems = Simple Solution....sounds like a chineese proverb....like confushus says..........you know what I mean........WAIT ON GOD! Doesn't sound very simple to me.........He also said........"waiting is the time between the request......to God........and the RESULT! by the way......I got in my car....and the phone "text tone"......it was my friend who live streamed...and she said...."You have got alot to blog about missy don't you?"......Pastor was truely my inspiration as always.......Waiting is not my virtue...and God has much to teach me......but in the vally....sometimes......that is the best thing to do......find a shady apple tree.....ok....didn't have to be an apple I guess...just seemed logical...LOL....Find a Sicimore tree...we had a big one in our yard....and just WAIT.....and LISTEN to what God wants for you next.....

So readers/bloggers....jumping into something quickly....is not waiting.......it is not taking the DEAD TIME and embrasing it! (don't do it well) that's boring....but I need to learn that the dead time is the time God will tell me what is next. I have blogged about embracing.....and learning day by day. My friend was right as rain....as she always is.......no matter what she tells me.....after I "wait" I know she is right....and it proved....that tonight......at 11.56........i pondered enough....and I need to WAIT!.........and make sure......what ever I do......it is the right thing....not because I want to rush......but to be still! I don't do good at still like her......but maybe today.....I took the lesson to learn.....that......God will tell me......my next step! Even if its gonna be tough......but......when all said and done......HE will see me through and bring me on my own two feet! So Happy Blogging/reading.....this true interpretation.....of today's sermon...so if you missed it........and are in a cross roads in your life.....don't rush........Please....JUST WAIT! HE WILL ANSWER you......because.....he is MY shephard....I shall not want! UNTIL next time

Fire and Gasoline

Fire is an amazing thing.....Fire, in it's proper containment, is a wonderful thing...........when you use just the fire....it is all good........I imagine "fire" as marshmellows, laughter, widdle sticks, a hose in the back yard for safety just incase a pine needle gets out of hand. I imagine "fire" in Aunt Kathy's fireplace on a wonderful Thanksgiving Day....and sitting by it feeling the the warmth of family and the smiles after a wonderful dinner, hearing it crackle and knowing that the "fire" is comfort, peaceful and serine. I imagine "Fire" as a crackling woodwick........and the flicker of the dim lights in a room, making the room feel romantic and warm. All of these are great uses of this thing we call "fire" and when used properly it can make everything GOOD!



Gasoline! The same with it.......It fuels our cars so we can go to dinner with our family and see everyone smile. It takes us on family vacations and the laughter that comes along with it. It takes us to work so we can provide for our family. It keeps our lawns tidy and nice......too hot to mow....but it has to be done. Fuel is the CORE and basis of our entire existance and without it.......NOTHING would be accomplished......

BUT with all this good......and the good times that both of these things will provide in its own containment, what happens when they are mixed! Of Course........it becomes an explosion. It becomes all about the rage of the BURN! When things are good with the flicker of the candle....they are really good........but why when they are bad......they are really bad??? Anybody feeling me today??? Any readers ever experienced the rage of the explosion of the fire and gas?? I know our live can not be all about the good stuff all the time. I know that our lives are designed on this path and our journey through life to come to the rocks.......but lately my path has had more rocks then just gravel! But why does it have to always be complicated! Why can't life just be simple everyday....and why can't others just not look for the bad....and just focus on the good???

Pastor spoke again this past Sunday about the VALLEY! Must I still remain here...in the valley??? I spoke last blog about the Valley being full of rich soil and a place I need to accept Learning and TALKING to God! I have done that....and I thought I was ready to make a climb........but this week has proven......that is not so. I still have to GROW in the VALLEY! As Pastor said, even in the DARKEST places of the Valley.....I have the Lean on HIM and HEAR his voice........He does know I am afraid of the dark.......so I am praying that through any dark places he leads me.....he has a night light!

My fellow Bloggers/Readers.......I am know that some of you have immerged onto the mountain....and are happy for now.....smiles with the flicker of the candle light.......sun smiling on you......but for any bloggers/readers that might be in the Valley.....you are there to learn to be stronger then you have ever been. So used the time.......even if you stumble around a little........God is faithful....and he will not fail you....

Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life. Psalms 143 7-9

Pastors Sermon on Sunday. For anyone in the fire.........I hope you put your trust in Him....and he will see you through. Happy Day my dear friends, bloggers / and READERS! If you are not in the fire.....be happy......but be ready because...I am learning on valuable lesson.....that is......there is ALWAY a VALLY around the OTHER SIDE of the MOUNTAIN! UNTIL!

The Valley Once Again

Pastor preached about the VALLEY today! This is what I see in the valley!.. I blogged about being in the valley.........and the soil....the fresh way to learn in the valley......but what happens.......when ...the valley is dark?

Well, today....I thought I was climbing up the mountain.....and all the sudden.....the shadows came....and the valley became dark! The loom of the darkness was almost more then I could take! I thought I was to grow in the valley...and like Pastor said today...in Psalms 143 that even David asked God.......Really God???? Here in the darkness of the valley!??? Are you kidding?!

I am not sure I am ready to climb to the mountian yet........I think I am still here in th4e valley to learn something.....powerful.....to be strong.......on my own!

Pastor this morning was out of time.....but the things that learned about.......being ok in the valley was amamzing! You are to learn in the valley.....if you have unforgiveness? If you have ought against someone......many things can keep you in the valley.....but like Job he said......it was once he RELEASED the ones that came against him.....onlhy then....was he free!

OK...i am releasing the one.....who......has come against me...does that make me free!? Forgiveness??? Oh My....maybe another blog!

Ok Bloggers / Readers.........I have Put my heart right out there huh???? Happy blogging everyone!

What Eats Impatients?

This is one of my completed gardens.....in my back yard....I have become not the gardner that My brother is.....Jimmy who has sooooo many impatients that flousish all year...and they even are lucky enough to come back each spring...as I admire his garden each easter.......I was challenged to remove some lime rock that was surely stunting the growth of many of my flower and plans...and under the precise direction he told me to put in mulch....which I see a flourishing already. If you look in the above picture....you will see my impatients on the ground are growing and very pretty.....but about two weeks ago.....I would go out to water...and in the morning I would notice that 1/2 or some of the impatients were missing.....by the third morning they were GONE!



I ASKED the wisest gardner I know....and we googled it...and found that usually only DEER love impatients. I have 5 deer on my property....however, they are only MOUNTED on the country garage wall.....so unless they are excaping late at night.......they are not the ones eating my beatiful flowers.......I planted last Friday a NEW batch of LOWER ON GROUND impatients...and slowly this week.....I have watched them disappear to almost nothing.........



Well after last night........the dogs were outside...it was later then normal for me and the dogs to be out...........and low and behold....there was a oppossum on the fence...Now is it possible that one of the delicasies of the Oppossum would be the impatients??? Because this morning so eager to rise......I found a NEWLY planted impatient....the one on the right....1/2 gone....and probably it will be taken to nothing like the other photos...........so what does one do...in this situation??? Well..........I am not sure...and there is no proof that this little guy is really eating the impatients........online.....however......he was seen on the crime scene before bed...and there were missing and devoured flours........SOOOOOOO one can only assume who is the culpret! So I am beleiving that my mystery is solved....if you have oppossums...and impatients...BEWARE!





So Bloggers/Readers.....My advice being.....that on the OPPOSSUM website...they state that they will eat just about anything.........there is NO PROOF of catching this little guy in the act of eating! However....tonight I am sure what is left of the last of the low...and on the ground impatients will be gone! So to you gardners out there.......do like the Whaley Gardner...and if you have the possibility of munchers of impatients...........Plant in lower planters........Mums, Petinua's.......Marigolds......but NOT IMPATIENTS! LOL

Happy Blogging everyone.......went from deep to fun today......so take today...and make it a day...where the shoe will not fall.....it will not rain on your parade...and remember, life sometimes can be simple....if you allow it to be! Sometimes we stress the simple stuff.....when it is just as easy as to plant a different undesirable flower........and hopefully the oppossums of life....will leave us well alone! Hopefully today will be the best day ever....NO MATTER what your plans are! Embrace each moment....Live it....Love it.........Laugh with it......and Don't let the Oppossum get you down! Learn how to beat him at his own game......UNTIL next time Bloggers.....Make today a NEW DAY!

The View from the Valley?

Live streamed Faithoutreachcenter.org this morning......I had home committments as a shuttle service to my teenage daughter and FRIENDS! LOL After the worship.......pastor got his bible and approached the pulpit......and he said....many great nuggets and as I was straightening my hair...I grabbed an eye liner and wrote them on my hand......The first one I wrote is we come to a place in our lives where we need not to keep looking back in the rearview mirrow. The keep looking back and wondering whether mountian top that we are leaving...and heading to the valley is not really the best place for us. Even if we are heading to the Valley....the valley is the place between the two mountians...and we feel that we are in the bottom.....place, however, he pointed out this morning that the valley has the best, moist, lushious soil. When I feel like I am in the valley....I have always thought that it was a bad, dark place......but today he made me realize that the Valley is a place of growth. A place of Strength!????? What an amazing thought....I have been in the valley for a while....man I should be the strongest woman in the world! And just maybe ready to climb again!



He also said today........"Good used to bee's don't make good honey for today"! Man that could have been another blog just on its own! I do have a tendancy to look at the used to "bee's" in life.......as I have been here in the valley....I have looked in the rear view mirror and wondered where my life might have been if I had taken a different path, different people......different life.......and yet, what used to be.......might not have been the best for the future. Maybe just to set forward and take the strength that I have gained here in the valley with the new boundaries that I have set.....will cause me to move forward up the mountian to climb on to the top....and be on the top of the mountian again!

He also reminded me today...Pastor did....that even though....I have been in the valley for a while......that even though I might not have heard the voice, I might not have felt Him......He really was standing right beside me. Now that I look back.....I do see soooooo many things.....these past 7 months....that God has been there. He has stopped me though friends in being vulnerable in life (vulnerablility happens to us all, it is what we do with it, right?).....He has placed people in my daughters life...to remind her that He is there......He has put his hand over me.......and my family....with a protection that I didn't see in the valley. But, non the less, HE WAS REALLY THERE! Maybe the Valley of Life....was the place I needed to be....to appreciate the top of the mountian.

So as I imerge slowly to the top of the mountian.......and my next climb in life.....I will have Him beside me........and not a promise that I will not slip and fall.......back into the valley....but knowing that He will be there.....to help me with my new boundaries....and Pastor said at the end of the service, he hoped that this message.....touched someone....and I am not sure.....that it would have touched me any more being on the back row........or here infront of my BLOGGER screne! So, it touched me today.

So as the invitation is given.......and the lives are renewed ........ I too, feel renewed today. This past weeks storms from TX - GA and the lives that were lost....shows us all how short life is......It really is short. There were folks shopping and doing daily things......when they were at the mall.....they never thought they would go home to find, there is nothing left...and people in AL that are greiving the loss of friends and loved ones.......Man Bloggers....Life is short! Lets make life count! So where ever you are today.......Embrace each moment. Those folks had a 5 minute warning........how can you get out of the way of a F5 storm in 5 minutes???? I hope that I am ready, if my 5 minutes of time is up!

Happy Blogging Everyone.....Happy Sunday everyone.......Live today......LOVE today........LAUGH today! As you look forward and not behind you!!!!

So bloggers / readers.....I kinda rambled on and on........